Grief is in the air this week with the death of Dolly Parton. It feels like a heaviness, a burden, an immense sadness. When I am sad, I pretty much want comfort food — and that means gravy. Lots of gravy.
Gallons and gallons of gravy.
Pork Chops with Onion Gravy feels like the tonic my wounded heart needs this week. I learned how to cook from my grandmother and mother. The photo below was taken at my grandmother’s 90th birthday celebration. She died a few short years later and sometimes the grief still feels raw and real.
Welcome to the Good and Good for You™ newsletter, a quick 5-minute read with ideas and info on ways to help improve your life – including a tasty and healthful recipe.
This week’s a little sadder, but like Mama said as we were crying together when we found out about Dolly, “She would not want us to feel sad.” So, I am going with that — and scooping up an extra helping of gravy.
This issue shares:
- Best Life Living Tip: Why We Grieve Strangers
- Self-Care Strategy: Seven Stages of Grief
- Ideas and Inspiration: Imagination Library
- Good and Good for You™ Recipe: Pork Chops with Onion Gravy
Thanks for reading! It’s awesome to see that this newsletter is making life better in some way for so many folks. You take care of you this week.
Read on for more — including this soothing, soulful recipe for Pork Chops with Onion Gravy.
Best Life Living Tip
Why We Grieve Strangers
Grief is a natural emotional and physical response to a significant loss, such as the death of a loved one, a divorce, or a major life change. But why are we so upset when a stranger dies?
This article from SELF does a great job explaining this untethered grief.
- We feel connected: Stories, interviews, TV, or social media can make someone feel familiar, even if we’ve never met them.
- We empathize: Humans naturally respond to another person’s loss and the grief of those left behind.
- It reminds us of mortality: Someone’s death can make us think about our own lives, aging, and the people we love.
- It can trigger old grief: A new loss may bring back feelings about people we’ve personally lost.
- We grieve what they represented: Sometimes we’re mourning an era, a memory, an inspiration, or a part of our own lives.
The truth is you don’t have to know someone personally for their life to have touched you. Dolly Parton was in my life for my entire life.
The best life living tip is to pay attention to what their passing makes you think about. Then, use that feeling as a nudge to call someone you love, say what needs to be said, and make today count.
Self-Care Strategy
The Seven Stages of Grief
This scene from Steel Magnolia’s was epic. Sally Field’s character mowed through the Seven Stages of Grief in one brilliant scene.
Grief isn’t a straight line. You may move through these stages in different orders, revisit some more than once, or experience several at the same time. There is no “right” way to grieve.
- 1. Shock & Denial — “This can’t be happening.”
Your mind may initially protect you by making the loss feel unreal. - 2. Pain & Guilt — “I should have…”
Sadness, regret, anger, and guilt can surface. Try to remember that feelings aren’t proof that you did something wrong. - 3. Anger — “Why did this happen?”
Anger is a natural response to something we cannot control or change. - 4. Bargaining — “If only…”
We may replay events and imagine how things could have been different. - 5. Depression & Sadness — “I miss them.”
The reality of the loss can feel heavy. This is a time to slow down and allow yourself to feel. - 6. Reconstruction & Working Through — “How do I move forward?”
Little by little, you begin adjusting to life as it is now. - 7. Acceptance — “I can carry this with me.”
Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting or being happy about the loss. It means learning to live with the reality of it.
Ideas and Inspiration
I read this morning that the Imagination Library website had crashed multiple times from so many people trying to log on and donate.
Another post pondered of all her awards, accolades, and accomplishments, that everyone is talking about what a great person she was, how kind she was, and how good she was. Amazing. #WWDD
I’ve donated and suggest you do the same.
Give them a follow at @imaginationlibrary and check out their website, too.
Good and Good for You Living Spotlight
It’s my favorite Dolly quote — and when I launched this shop last year I put it on a sketch journal.
Drawing and doodling allows us to express emotions that may be difficult to articulate. The process of focusing can promote mindfulness, drawing attention away from worries and sadness, and grounds the mind in the present moment.
To me, her quote means to
- Discover who you really are – your values, strengths, passions, personality, and what matters most to you.
- Stop living solely by other people’s expectations — family, society, career pressures, or what you think you should be doing.
- Make intentional choices that reflect the person you want to become – not react to other’s actions.
- Live deliberately — put your time, energy, and attention toward the things that make your life meaningful.
It doesn’t mean you have to have yourself completely figured out! We’re all works in progress. It means you’re willing to pay attention, make choices, and keep becoming who you want to be.
Make it Count
Give Yourself Permission to Grieve
Grief is not something you need to “get over.” It is something you learn to carry. Self-care during grief means giving yourself permission to:
- Feel whatever comes up without judging yourself.
- Rest when you need to rest.
- Talk to someone you trust.
- Eat, hydrate, move your body, and maintain simple routines.
- Say no when you don’t have the emotional energy.
- Remember that healing doesn’t have a deadline.
Thank you for reading. For more tips, inspiration, and healthy recipes, follow @virginiawillis on Instagram.
If you choose what’s Good and Good for You™ most of the time, you’re headed in the right direction. You’ve got this!
Bon Appétit, Y’all!
Virginia Willis
Pork Chops with Onion Gravy
Ingredients
- 4 bone-in pork chops 1-inch thick (2 1/2 to 3 pounds total)
- Coarse kosher salt
- Freshly ground black pepper
- 3 tablespoons all-purpose white wheat or chickpea flour
- 1 teaspoon onion powder
- 1 teaspoon paprika
- 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper or to taste
- 2 tablespoons pure olive oil
- 2 sweet onions chopped
- 3 garlic cloves finely chopped
- 1 cup chicken stock bone broth, or reduced-fat, low-sodium chicken broth, plus more if needed
- 2 sprigs fresh thyme
- 1 bay leaf
Instructions
- Heat the oven to 350 degrees.
- Season the pork chops generously with salt and pepper. Set aside.
- Place the flour in a shallow plate and season with onion powder, paprika and cayenne. Season with salt and pepper and stir with a fork or whisk to combine. Set aside.
- Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Meanwhile, one piece at a time, add the seasoned pork chops to the seasoned flour and turn to lightly coat.
- Once all chops are coated, shake off the excess flour, reserving it for use in the gravy. Working one chop at time, transfer the coated chops directly to the heated pan and sear until golden brown, 1 to 2 minutes per side. Set chops aside on a plate.
- Add the onions to the skillet and decrease the heat to medium. Season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions are golden brown, 5 to 7 minutes. Add garlic and cook until fragrant, 45 to 60 seconds.
- Add the remaining flour-spice mixture to the onions and stir to coat and combine. Add the chicken stock while stirring the onion and flour mixture. Increase the heat to medium-high. Bring the mixture to a boil, then decrease the heat to low and simmer until the mixture thickens into a gravy, 1-2 minutes.
- Add to the skillet the reserved pork chops with any accumulated juices, thyme sprigs, and the bay leaf. Nestle the chops into the onions and turn to coat all sides in the gravy.
- Transfer the skillet to the oven, uncovered, and cook until the internal temperature of the pork chops reaches 145 degrees, 8 to 10 minutes.
- If the gravy seems too thick, remove the pork chops to a serving plate and add additional chicken stock, a little at a time. The sauce should be thick enough to coat a spoon.
- Taste and adjust for seasoning with salt and pepper. Serve immediately.
Nutrition
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